DECEMBER 2009 The Taboo Issue

Cover illustration by Albert Spoong

FEZ Sez_________________Wildside contemplates the meaning of Taboo
Tool & Tosser #1
'BURN MY SHADOW'_______________________Part 2 of the Nostro story
Tool &Tosser #2
'JUST DO IT' __________________________________Zed gets very handy
Tool & Tosser #3
'PAGE TURNER'_______________________________A homage to a Queen
'VICE VICE BABY'______________________________Dave Schwan on kids
Tool & Tosser #4
'PLANET TABOO'________________Crazy taboos from around the world
Tool & Tosser #5
'EAT THE PENIS'________________Munky Harris knows some weird shit
Tool & Tosser #6

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Contributors
Munky Harris, Zed's Not Dead, Circusmouse, Bobby Wildside,
The Fantastic FEZ Line Dancers, Dave Schwan & Albert Spoong.

by Bobby Wildside

WHILE researching stories for the latest bodice-ripping edition of FEZ, it soon became clear that the human race is a very peculiar species indeed. Whereas the rest of the animal kingdom simply gets on with day-to-day living –dogs sniffing each other's arses in broad daylight and lions ripping apart their prey in the wild – humans seek continually to construct laws and rituals to bind themselves in contracts written and unwritten. From the penis-eating cannibals of Germany to the not so tasty recipes for Vietnamese cat, and sexual taboos such as paraphillic infantilism (in which a person chooses to dress in kids' nappies for erotic thrills), it seems the hills are alive with the sound of taboo. On the face of it, we certainly are one very sick bunch of puppies indeed. The term taboo originated in Tonga, and often has religious connotations, but according to the daddy of psychology, Sigmund Freud, the only two taboos familiar to all societies are patricide and incest. And which the royals of England are probably more aware of than most. Where once Galileo was persecuted for declaring that the world revolved around the Sun, the 21st century has its own set of twisted taboos involving truths that began as heresy: just look what happened to Texan band the Dixie Chicks in 2003, when, at a UK gig, they announced: "We are on the good side with y'all, we do not want this war, this violence." Among other things that followed for the three hapless musicians, US disc jockeys were suspended for playing Chicks' songs, fans were invited to a public bulldozing of their CDs and the American Red Cross turned down a $1million promo deal with the band. And that was only the start of it. So, taboo lovers, speak your mind and live your beautiful lives in the way that only you can, but watch how you tread you could one day wind up in jail for cracking one out in your nappy!

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If you haven't read the first part of this story, 'MINDWIRE', check it out at the following link. It will help this second part make sense. And we mean that in a good way.

http://www.fezminizine.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

THE light from the street lamps shimmered in inky black puddles upon the road. Abi saw the limo approaching, and reached deep inside the pockets of her winter coat.
Global President Jack Nostro had summoned her to provide his entertainment for the night. Pulling to an abrupt halt in front of her, the driver of the car slid the window down, beckoning her to the rear seat.
The back door swung open and she eased herself in, the chauffeur staring intently in his rear view mirror at her long, shapely legs.
Government buildings, all lit up in swathes of white and orange light, in greeting for Nostro’s arrival, cast star-bursts upon the car windows, as the vehicle hurtled along the freeway, while the domes of vast military complexes stretched high into the clouds, casting sinister shadows across the road.
Abi allowed herself to think of Muir, her former lover, the man who Nostro had consigned to the Cloud many years before. Was he still alive? she wondered. And how many other dissenters of the one world government had been disposed of in a similar way?
And then they were there, at Nostro’s hotel.
Abi took the electro-glide to his room. The president was waiting, ready.
"Abi, my darling, so pleased to see you. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks" she muttered.
"Come on, darling. You must have forgiven me by now. Just enjoy tonight. Like you used to do when you were young."
Abi just stared at him. And then stared some more.
Nostro walked over to her, knelt, clasped her hands in his and opened her coat, kissing her softly upon the stomach. She was wearing only stockings and a bra beneath.
Abi stood motionless, feeling pangs of revulsion ripple across her body.
Nostro laughed out loud: "Still as sexy as ever, I see."
Soon, she thought, he would fix himself a drink, as always, and she would then grab her chance.
In that moment, he moved over to the drinks cabinet, poured himself a large glass of scotch and placed it upon the table next to Abi. In silence, he turned around, his back to her, as he poured another drink. She broke the vial in her pocket and released the thallium into his glass.

Nostro stripped, his trousers falling to the floor in a heap, revealing the prosthetic steel legs that were fitted after a previous assassination attempt. He took a swig of his drink, grinding his teeth as he did so.
Abi prayed he wouldn't notice anything unusual.
Lust filled his black eyes, beads of sweat upon his forehead. Tugging at his shirt, Nostro was desperate for sex.
He began to choke, reaching his hands around his neck. He opened his mouth, but all that came now was froth and spume from his quivering grey lips.
With one last roll of his cold, dead eyes, he slumped into a pile on to the plush carpet.
Abi tilted her head back in relief and closed her eyes. It was over, her father was dead and gone. Finally.

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As a lover of masturbating I try to do it whenever and wherever I can. In the shower, in bed, in the toilet, at work. I especially like to do it at work because not only am I being paid to masturbate but it's my personal little "fuck you" to the boss for being such an asshole. And as for getting caught, I don't really mind. As far as I'm concerned wanking is as natural as picking your nose and should have the same class of social stigma. I remember reading once that 98% of men and 74% of women masturbate; that’s a hell of a lot of people and it's strange that for an activity performed by such a huge chunk of the population, no one really likes to talk about it.
People masturbate because it's the easiest way to get off. Unfortunately the majority of us feel some form of guilt or embarrassment during or after the fact and even in social conversation with our closest of friends we don't even talk about it.
The way I see it, it could be one of three things that keeps us so tight-lipped.
Some people are so indoctrinated by their religious or cultural beliefs that the horror of crossing that sacred line fills them with the fear of eternal damnation. The almighty is always watching and no amount of Hail Mary’s will absolve you of such a sin.

Some dread the social stigma of being labelled a serial wanker as masturbation could be seen as the inability to find a sexual partner. Or if they do have a partner, it might hint at the absence of a normal, functional sex life.
And some fear the physical repercussions of their folly, such as hairy palms, blindness and reduced sperm count. In fact, science shows frequent orgasms are actually beneficial to your health. It is now known that masturbating to the point of orgasm can reduce stress, release sexual tension, aid with insomnia, have a positive effect on the immune system, create a more sublime disposition and, in men, can raise the sperm count.
Studies show that men over 55, who have 3 or more orgasms a week, live an average of 7-8 years longer than the ones that don’t. Personally, I find the choice to be quite simple...If you want to live a longer, happier, healthier life, be a wanker.. or, even better, have someone else do it for you.

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April 22, 1923 – December 11, 2008

Retro pin-up queen Bettie Page was the ultimate wrecker of taboos. In the staid, monochrome 50s Cold War years, it was Page, with her jet black hair, bright red lipstick and killer body, who did more than anybody else to bring the darker side of sexuality into the mainstream and challenge the suburban norms. Credited with helping usher in the 60s sexual revolution, Page's bondage and S&M shoots were so risque at the time, that they brought her under investigation by the US Senate Committee, which ordered much of the work photographed by Irving Klaw to be destroyed. Always shunning explicit sexual content, Page's pictures turned convention on its head. As Page saw it, it was her body and her life, and there were plenty of people out there who wanted to see it, so why should anyone stop her.
Bettie Page, icon, sex goddess, taboo breaker, FEZ salutes you.

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How is it that while parents everywhere are panic-stricken at the idea of some old nonce perving up their kids, it's okay for the advertising world to allow the sexualisation of children? Although we call for more protection for our young ones, the ad men are imposing physical and mental anguish upon girls as young as five by bombarding them with images impelling them to look sexually appealing.
Recently, ABC show "Hungry Beast" showed footage of five and six-year-old girls reading a fashion magazine aimed at their age group. These kids, some wearing make-up, primped and preened and bitched and criticised the photos in front of them. The photos were retouched and computer manipulated, which projected a bizarre, twisted impression upon the girls. And all this is led by advertisers seeking to compete for the purchasing power that kids hold over a parents' wallet.
On TV, newspapers, magazines and the internet, children are encouraged to dress older, especially girls, and to sacrifice the childhood years; to spend and consume and to prepare themselves for life as a slave to the corporate lifestyle.
And while the Japanese ban the media showing pubic hair and the Brazilian look catches on among the sexually frustrated housewives of suburbia, the sexualisation of the image of the pre-pubescent continues unabated. How come the ad men are getting away with this?

The church and state also have much to blame for the debasement of the young. There has long been a hidden history of cruelty and abuse of the kids placed in church and state care. The victims of child abuse have only lately won a hard-earned "sorry" from the Australian prime minister who appeared on national television in a hand-wringing address. Why did the powers-that-be avert their eyes for so long?
Readers will surely be aware of the many cases made against various churches around the world relating to the terrible abuses endured by so many children. These churches were the very breeding grounds for some of the worst known serial offenders, and they thrived and prospered because of other taboos, like those of silence and disbelief.
But now these things are in the past and we must move forward, let's hope we can for the lives of our children who are being subjected to a tide of mixed messages from the adult world.

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In Xi’an Province, the greatest social faux pas is for a couple to have no more than one offspring. This has caused constant conflict with the Chinese Government since 1979 when the One Child Policy was introduced. Locals still have large families consisting on average of 5 children, but have devised ingenius ways to circumvent the law. While the first born is officially registered, subsequent children are disguised as either furniture, animals, and in one case, a piece of farm machinery, to avoid detection by inspectors.

“Thou must not covet thy neighbour’s ox” takes on new meaning in Poozhikol, India, where, even though bestiality is considered a way of life, it is strictly forbidden to practice it with someone else’s livestock, especially cattle. Unfortunately, this has lead to a thriving black market in animal sex slavery.

In the land of taboos, Japan, you must leave a gratuity in your love hotel room as you leave. This is for the cleaner who will separate used condoms, clean them, and send them to a recycling centre to be processed. Forgetful patrons have been known to have a bucket of discarded semen dumped on them by upset hotel staff.

If you have a cold or flu in some remote villages in Central Eurasian Kyrgyzstan, social convention dictates that you wear a necklace of live hamsters to protect others from your “germs”. Pharmacies in the area, though few and far between, are usually well stocked, which is good, as it against the law to breed your own, even for medicinal purposes.

In certain Polynesian islands where cannibalism was once practiced, it is still considered to be greatly offensive if, as a guest, your host invites you to lick his wife. However, this created a new problem, with some guests spending entire evenings licking their host’s spouse. Time limits have now been imposed.

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Tonight, perhaps if you're English, you'll sit down to a slap-up meal of ham, egg and chips. Or, maybe, if you're an Aussie, it will be a T-bone steak with all the trimmings, washed down with a tasty beer.
But the more adventurous of you might be tucking into sauteed penis with garlic. Hard to swallow, we know, but this is exactly the type of meal German Armin Meiwes decided upon in 2001. Meiwes first decided on posting an ad on the Net, asking for a "well-built, 18-30-year-old, to be slaughtered and consumed".
The luckless Bernd Jurgen Brandes answered this ad and promptly headed off for Meiwes' home in Rotenburg, Germany.
With the niceties over, the two men sat down to dinner. Brandes first insisted that Meiwes shoud bite off his penis. It proved much too tough though, with Meiwes managing only to burst open his victim's ball-bags by biting through those instead. Still feeling pangs of hunger, Meiwes grabbed a knife from the kitchen, cutting off the offending organ, and the pair sat down to eat the sauteed penis, garnished with salt, pepper and garlic. Too burned to be consumed, Meiwes threw what was left of the dismembered cock to his dogs.
First course over, Meiwes then retired to another room to catch up with a few chapters of Star Trek. Meanwhile, our man, Brandes, was bleeding a slow death in the bath, sedated with alcohol, painkillers and sleeping pills. Brandes was then finally taken to the "Slaughter Room", a part of the house especially constructed for the end game. With a final kiss, Brandes was stabbed to death, and his body hung on a meat hook. Meiwes ripped chunks of meat from the body for further meals, proceeding to grind the bones for use as flour.
During the course of the next 10 months, Meiwes stored parts of the body in his feezer, making his way through about 20kg of human flesh.

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FEZ next month:
"INSECT"
Are you into bugs? Let us know.
Tell us all about it for your chance to win a prize.

We've decided to change FEZ minizine, and give it a new look
starting with the January 2010 issue. Be sure to check it out at any
of the outlets above, or contact us if you want your copy sent to you.

Congrats to Bobby Wildside for winning last month's prize.

Contributions to:-
fez@randompress.com.au